just don't make it worse - book

Just don’t make it worse or Just don’t add to your pain

People tend to make things worse than the really are. Why do we do this? It’s simple. We do this because that’s the way we think. We are hooked up to think this way. When something happens that we don’t like we have an instinct to have to level the playing field. For instance, you have a bad day at work and feel crummy, so you start thinking about how to feel good. And the way to feel good with definitely entail damaging yourself in some way shape or form. This is what we call fun. What is fun? Well it’s something to do with overloading or maybe depriving one of our senses. Eating is a huge one! Eating fun stuff, which means something that gives our taste buds a ride, get a buzz from, something tasty, and so on. This food doesn’t help our bodies in any way but does the opposite, it hurts us. This book is not about not doing any of these things that we call fun. I think that’s impossible unless you really see that it’s hurting you. Some people see that it hurts you and so try and not eat any of these bad foods. But the problem lies in the fact that they don’t really understand it, just logically and so suppression occurs, “this food is unhealthy, why am I eating it? I should stop.” But the pattern of thought is still just there, but now in addition to that you add pressure.

Moderation

This book promotes moderation. Don’t go to crazy on anything. And, when you are doing it just be slightly aware that it’s being done. In everyday thinking wanting plays a huge party. It’s infused in most of our thoughts. You want this to be like that, or that to be more like this; a whole lot of talking going on.

Most people’s lives are based around trying to make things better, like the world or themselves are broken. This is just a thought pattern also. It’s how we think. What can you do about it? If you declare your own thoughts as a problem, then you are right dead smack in the middle of the just previously mentioned thought pattern. It’s so funny how convinced we are of these things. The wish, wanting to be rich is a common one in society. If you had cash, things would be much better. Although, I agree that a level of wealth is needed. I don’t agree that wealth makes you happy. A person getting rich has been done time in time again, over and over, every generation. And, now with the age of technology, one doesn’t even need to have actually money but just numbers. Can a billionaire really show you that much actual cash? No way! But they can show you numbers, very big numbers. Are these rich people happier? Some may be happier than others but no more so than some middle class person who has enough and a good family. Money just can’t do it; it can’t be emotions, happy, joy, love, warmth. And, sometimes the whole getting rich backfires and you have too much cash and then nothing is interesting anymore because you can have it all. When you can have it all, it’s not so special anymore. That’s why working towards something and then getting it is so much more satisfying. Sometimes I laugh when I hear someone bought an Island. How much did that person need to make them ‘happy?’ I am alright with just a circle of Brie, haha.

It may sound like I am discouraging making money or something, but all that I would like to point out here is that if you goal is to be happy than being wealthy is not the key.

Life goes by whatever it is that you are doing. Picture now the hand of a clock that keeps the seconds. That’s life! It always just keeps going. You feel great, you feel awful, you feel nothing, this happens, that happens, then it passes. Our thoughts are kind of hooked to think that we don’t want the bad and only want the good. So, when bad times are happening, even just bad moods, feelings emotions are body, we don’t want it and begin thinking of how we can rid of it. And then the trouble begins and we do unintelligent things. As well by the time we get to the thing that we plan to do in order to get rid of the bad feelings, more than likely those feelings are gone. For example, you work all day and feel frustrated and tired, and you’re looking forward to just getting home, having a glass of wine and plopping yourself in front of the t.v. with a feeling of relief and relax. But, the truth is, by the time you get home and sit down for a minute you may be alright. But you wouldn’t know because your mind has already decided many hours ago that that is what you will be doing later on. The mind has a tendency of dragging this desire along, along the whole day. In contrast, if you didn’t try and rid of bad feeling, emotions etc. then you would surely see that they just come and go. That’s a good reflective meditation for you. Just know in an easy sort of way that, whatever you felt also left. It was there, and then it was also not there. Keep it simple, there and not there.

Life is like that. It’s here and then not here. So many people have lived before us. Sometimes I wonder what number human I am. I mean how many where before me? Am I like the 121st billionth person who has lived on earth? One thing that gets passed along from generation to generation is the way we think. We all think we are someone, someone who is in some way separate from our surroundings. The Indians seemed to be a little more in touch with this, feeling like they are not apart from the land. But, even the Indians had many wars amongst themselves not seeing that there was enough to share. They were too lost in protecting their specific blood lines, there specific tribe. What does that really matter if everyone is just a part of the whole, which one would really be better than the other one. It’s from the animal mind.

The ability to see that things come and go, that they don’t really have our name written on it and that trying to label life and call it ours just causes prejudice, is the cause of true happiness. It makes sense. If you thoroughly know that everything will pass, and so you don’t hold onto anything relieving yourself of that burden. You’ll be extremely light. It’s like comparing all your problems to you carrying a heavy bag on your back, and then when you put down the bag, and it’s much lighter. This example isn’t great because it points to something that isn’t true. Life has problems in it. That’s life. Letting all your problems go is not the same as seeing that there is no problem, and that what you thought was a problem was really just a thought. Next time a situation that you don’t like occurs in your life, take a look and see how big of a problem is it without the extra thoughts in your head, all the ‘I hate this because of this that or the other thing.’ All the extra thinking doesn’t come free. It comes with added heavy emotions. Or you can look at it like, after something you don’t like occurs and you’re still going on about even after it has ended then you are just still carrying it. And, of course, that’s heavy.

Putting heavy things down seems like a good idea, but that is not what I suggest to work on because both heavy situations and light situations happen in life. Has a heavy situation every stopped the clock from ticking? This is it! You get one shot at life and guess what? It’s both good and bad. Seeing life from this perspective may sound profound, but it’s just nature. I always think of god as before biases happen, something that is open and not lost in judgment. But, trying not to judge things is impossible. Trying anything is just trying, but it’s necessary to try, haha. Sounds confusing and uncertain, it is. That’s life. Is it this way or that way or every way?