Life.god

If I told you what I really thought. You would probably think I am a few stack short of a pile. But, what does it really matter. Why should I continue even judging what I think? What’s the point?

Sometimes, I think in terms of god. But, not really the angry Jewish kind of god, smoting people, haha. My ideas of god doesn’t put god into a form. It puts god into like a, I don’t know, a leader of nature, a creator, designer, but definitely not a thinker or something that has a reflection in a mirror or pond.

You are born into this world. You can’t control that. Perhaps, your soul does but your thinking mind, who you think you are doesn’t really decide that you will be born, what you will look like, who your parents will be, any of the details of your body, height, shape, eye colour, size of your pinky finger and so on. Also, you don’t decide on all the things that you start to think. You just start thinking one day in your life. Like, when you’re really young there doesn’t seem to be much thinking going on, just kind a doing and following. But at some age, that all changes and now you begin to think or be aware of your thoughts.

I remember when I came into this. Started to judge and pay attention to what was going on around me. I can’t say that was a fun day! Mostly life just appeared to be kind of heavy and somewhat of struggle, feeling a little distant from all those that surrounded me. Who am I? Why do I feel like this? This sucks, but you just keep going, not that you can stop it. Life just keeps going.